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'What does it want him for?' said Susan. 'It's using him, but what for?'
'Twenty‑seven 'Dancing,' said Ridcully levelly, walking back along the row. 'That's dancing, is it? Banging into people? Throwin' one another over yer shoulders? Twirling around all over the place? Not even trolls act like that (not that I've got anything against trolls mind you marvellous people marvellous people) and you're supposed to be wizards. People are supposed to look up to you and that's not because you're somersaulting over their heads, Runes, don't think I didn't notice that little display, I was frankly disgusted. The poor Bursar has had to have a lie down. Dancing is . . . round in circlesdollars!' said Ridcully. 'Twenty‑seven dollars .to get you out! And the sergeant kept grinning all the time! Wizards arrested!'He walked along the row of crestfallen figures.'I mean, how often does the Watch get called in to the Drum?' said Ridcully. 'I mean, what did you think you were doing?''mumblemumblemumble,' said the Dean, looking at the floor.'I'm sorry?'‘mumblemumbledancingmumble.'

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easy to play?
He hoped there was a god of musicians.
And there is. There are many, one for almost every type of music. Almost every type. But the only one due to watch over Imp that night was Reg, god of club musicians, who couldn't pay much attention because he'd also got three other gigs to do.
'Keep playing!' he hissed.
Imp obeyed, ducking a fusillade of oranges.
In the front row, the ape opened his bag and produced a very large melon.
'Can you see any pears?' said Glod, taking a breath. 'I like pears.'
'I can see a man with a throwing axe!'
'Does it look valuable?''We ready?' said Lias, picking his hammers.The others nodded.'Let's give 'em "The Wizard's Staff", then,' said Glod. 'That always breaks the ice.''OK,' said the troll. He counted on his fingers. 'One, two . . . one, two, many, lots.'The first apple was thrown seven seconds later. It was caught by Glod, who didn't miss a note. But the first banana curved viciously and grounded in his ear.

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. . . we want four shifts, staggered around the city. Got a light? Thanks. We don't want the whole guard changing shift at once. On the other hand, you've got to allow each Watch House officer a certain amount of initiative. But we should a spacious garden with a children's tree-house in it and, quite probably, a warm spot by the fire.
And a window, breaking . . .
Gaspode landed on the lawn, and ran like hell towards the fence. Flower-scented bubbles streamed off his coat. He was wearing a ribbon with a bow on it, and carrying in his mouth a bowl labelled MR HUGGY.
He dug his way frantically under the fence and squirmed into the roadmaintain a special squad in Pseudopolis Yard for emergencies . . . look, give me that pencil. Now give me that notebook. Right . . .'Cigar smoke filled the room. The little presentation watch played every quarter of an hour, entirely unheeded.Lady Sybil smiled and shut the door behind her, and went to feed the dragons. 'Dearest Mumm and Dad,Well here is Amazing news for, I am now Captain!! It has been a very busy and vareid Week all round as, I shall now recount. . .' And only one thing more . . .There was a large house in one of the nicer areas of Ankh, with

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said Carrot, 'I am afraid I shall, with extreme reluctance, be forced to carry out the order I was given just before entering.'
He glanced at Colon. 'That's right, isn't it, sergeant?'
'What? Eh? Well, under his makeup, 'I can have a dozen men in here.'
'Believe me,' said Carrot, 'that will only make it easier for me to obey.'
Dr Whiteface prided himself on his ability to judge character. In Carrot's resolute expression there was nothing but absolute, meticulous honesty. He fiddled with a quill pen andyes—''I would much prefer not to do so, but I have no choice,' said Carrot.Dr Whiteface glared at the two of them.'But this is Guild property! You have no right to . . . to . . .''I don't know about that, I'm only a corporal,' said Carrot. 'But I've never disobeyed a direct order yet, and I am sorry to have to tell you that I will carry out this one fully and to the letter.''Now, see here—'Carrot moved a little closer.'If it's any comfort, I'll probably be ashamed about it,' he said.The clown stared into his honest eyes and saw, as did everyone, only simple truth.'Listen! If I shout,' said Dr Whiteface, going red